Letting Go

For so long I’ve held on to hope
Now I lay here feeling like a dope
Years of longingly waiting for you
Hoping I could someday say I do

Knowing deep inside that you didn’t care
Looking for meaning in any moment we did share
Hoping for some meaningful glance
To let me know we still had a chance

I have to accept that you’ll never love me
It was all in my imagination you see
I was holding on to the thought of you so tightly
Letting go of you is a ritual I must practice nightly

Maybe

Maybe

Voice 1: Maybe you should tell him.

Voice 2: Maybe I should tell who what?

1: Your crush. The one from the poem.

2: Oh! Yeah...he's not my crush anymore.

1: Then you should tell whoever it applies to now.

2: What for?

1: He should know.

2: I don't see the point.

1: Why don't you see the point?

2: He's not interested in me.

1: How do you know?

2: His obvious lack of interest.

1: Maybe he's shy.

2: Definitely not.

1: Maybe he's scared.

2: Maybe he should grow a pair.

1: Maybe he finds you intimidating.

2: Maybe I deserve a braver crush.

Black Sheep

Black Sheep

Black sheep, black sheep, what do you see?

I see my family turning on me.

Black sheep, black sheep, what do you see?

I see their lies falsely accusing me.

Black sheep, black sheep, what do you see?

I see the hate my family has for me.

Black sheep, black sheep, what do you see?

I see an empty corner, no one supporting me.

Black sheep, black sheep, what do you see?

I see my family trying to manipulate me.

Black sheep, black sheep, what do you see?

I see distrust and hostility.

Black sheep, black sheep, what do you see?

I see my family abandoning me.

Black sheep, black sheep, what do you see?

I see the other black sheep that are just like me.

Black sheep, black sheep, what do you see?

I see my tribe accepting me.

Black sheep, black sheep, what do you see?

I see the love that my family denied me.

Black sheep, black sheep, what do you see?

I see the bridge burning behind me.

Black sheep, black sheep, what do you see?

I see the hope that is in front me.

Finding Myself

Finding Myself

How do I look for me if me is the one who is seeking?

How do I know when I find me if me is the one who is lost?

Reinventing, reevaluating, revising, reversing, revealing

My true form, the one I lost so long ago by pretending to be one who I am not.

Trying to become the one that they all wanted, what they all needed,

Never stopping to contemplate on who I wanted, who I needed.

Who I am.

The Stars

The stars keep my secrets late at night

When I tell them silently of my plight.

Find myself speechless even as I write,

Can’t express my feelings, not quite.

Words fail me, I must look a fright

Contemplating past midnight

Whether I will let my feelings take flight

Or whether I will hold tight

Never to invite

This carnal appetite.

No, I will not know that delight.

My own silence I will spite

While I lay here waiting for the light

Alone fortnight after fortnight.

Discover

How do I eradicate you?
You captivate me over and over
And you don't even know you do,
Don't notice me at all, moreover,
Of my feelings you don't have a clue.
You only like me when you're not sober,
Remembering that only makes me blue.
How I wish that one day I could discover,
Discover that you love me too.

How To Organize A Chaotic Mind

How to organize a chaotic mind:

1. Don’t
2. Go with the flow of the ideas that seem to be all jumbled up in there.  It will eventually make sense...or not.
3. Even if you try to cage it into lists and think maps, nothing is going to make sense until it wants to make sense.
4. I'm a bubble.