I Blame The Butterflies For This Poem

I Blame The Butterflies For This Poem

Thoughts of you keep me up at night.
I know you don't feel what I feel
And I'm sorry if my feelings make you uneasy.
In all honesty, I have no control over them.
(I wish I had).
I can't help that the butterflies come
Every time I know I'm going to see you.
I can't help that my longing for you
Keeps me up at night, wakes me up (makes me write).
I know it's hard to see but
I implore you to believe that
I am trying my best to bottle these feelings up,
To keep you from being uncomfortable
(I swear, I'm holding down the bottle cap).
But these feelings have no limit,
Have no filter.
They spill out from what seems like an infinite fountain,
Drowning my logic, washing away my good sense.
My practicality and propriety gone away,
Replaced by this insatiable desire to be
By your side, in your arms,
In your heart (in your bed).

From A Distance

From A Distance

I'll love you from a distance because from this distance I can form our perfect life together...in my head.

From this distance, you can't see my flaws, my insecurities, my ugly mood swings.

From this distance, you cannot know that my thoughts and my pen keep me up at night when it's time to rest.

From this distance, you cannot reject me for being myself, you can't call me out on my bullshit, or tell me to turn off the lights already.

From this distance, our love is pure and simple and free...completely unscathed by reality.

Insomnia

Insomnia

"What's wrong?" he asks.
"Can't sleep," she answers.
"What's keeping you awake?" he inquires.
"All the thoughts inside my head," she responds,
"Every word I never said to you.
Every moment I wish we had shared.
Every kiss I never gave you.
Every lost embrace.
Every night we didn't spend together
In each others arms.
Every conversation we never had,
Including this one."
"What do you mean 'including this one'?"
He asks, perplexed...in her imagination,
As she writes this late at night,
Alone, in bed.  She thinks of him.
Knowing that he doesn't even notice her,
She thinks of him still, imagines him there,
In her solitude, in the silence of the night,
While she waits for sleep to come again.

Crush

Crush

They call it a crush

Because that’s what it does to your mind.

Consumes your every thought.

Thinking about him every minute of the day,

Knowing he doesn’t think of you at all.

They call it a crush

Because that what it does to your heart.

Wrenches it dry of hope

That he’ll ever see you like you see him.

Feeling those feelings

That you know you will feel alone.

They call it a crush

Because that’s what it does to your soul.

Makes you doubt the wisdom of the universe

For giving you a love that doesn’t heal your being,

That instead fills you with painful longing

For what never was and never will be.

Torturing you with a loneliness that craves to

Fill an emptiness that seems infinite

In the absence of the only one your soul sees as

The one.

They call it a crush

Because in the end

That’s all that you feel.

Crushed.

Mentirosa

"Ya no lo amas," 
le suspiro a mi corazon.
El tonto se esta haciendo 
illusiones otra vez.
"Ya no lo amas," 
le recuerdo a mi corazon.
No se cansa de mirar el telefono 
para ver si algun mensaje le dejo.
"Ya no lo amas,"
le grito a mi corazon. 
Ya me canse de recodarle que 
a su lado nunca mas estara. 
El esta con otra, recuerda 
que fue lo que el escogio.
"Ya no lo amas,"
le suplico a mi corazon,
con lagrimas derramandose de mis ojos, 
como una fuente sin fin, 
con un profundo dolor, 
que haria a los dioses llorar,
pero mi corazon me contesta, 
muy calmado y muy seguro, 
"mentirosa, a mi no me engañas."

Donde estas lobo?

Donde estas lobo?

Donde estas lobo?
Te siento cerca.
Tu esencia me rodea,
Me envuelve en la esperanza
Que pronto regresaras a mi.
Hace vidas que no te tengo a mi lado,
Entre mis brazos, sobre mi pecho,
Envainado entre mis caderas.
Te veo en mis sueños.
Te siento en mi corazón.
Porque no te dejas ver?
Atrévete!
En esta vida.
No me obligues esperar
Otra eternidad.

All On My Own

Stumbling through the darkness

Looking for the light

Why must I feel so lost 

Looking for direction, for what feels right

Surrounded by all that I’m obliged to live for

But still I feel like I’m all alone 

Blindly reaching for more and more

Don’t know what I’m fighting for anymore

Lost in this world without you

Where do I go from here

Searching for more without you

I found my strength all on my own

So much time wasted thinking of you

When you don’t think twice of me

I must escape this illusion

Of a fairytale princess, I’m a queen

I want a place that I call home

Where my heart will always be 

Now that I’m free I roam the world

To find the beauty inside of me

Lost in this world without you

Where do I go from here

Searching for more without you

I’ll learn to fly all on my own

Swimming Home

Swimming Home

Waves crash into me,
Washing away the tears,
Healing my spirit,
Calming my fears.

Swimming home, swimming home,
Back to where I belong.
Swimming home, swimming home,
I won't even say so long.

Where are you sisters?
Out there swimming in the deep,
Hear your voices in the surf
But can only see you in my sleep.

Swimming home, swimming home,
Mermaid soul will sing her song.
Swimming home, swimming home,
Back to where I belong.