Hope

Hope

Like a flame in the dark,
Hope flickered in my heart,
With every look and every smile you gave
Making me uncertain on just how to behave.
So certain that your heart belonged to her,
Felt almost apologetic that my presence she had to endure,
Feeling like an usurper in her domain.
As always, my feelings for you I have to restrain.
But your deep long glances, did I just imagine this part?
Or did I see the same flicker of hope in your eyes that I feel in my heart?

Disdain

Disdain

Patience is a virtue, they say.
My virtue must have run out.
Dearest Soulmate, wherever you are,
Whoever you are, you must be a lout.

I have looked for you high and low,
Far and nigh, in so many faces.
Thought I found you once or twice,
But only found myself in loveless embraces.

Soulmate, I need you to know
That my faith in you has waned.
If our paths ever do cross someday
Don't be surprised to find yourself disdained.

Stepping Stone No More

Stepping Stone No More

Girl of your dreams, not quite.

Never seem to be just right.

I’m just a stepping stone on your journey towards “her.”

Well, this stepping stone has had enough.

Your journey just got a bit more rough.

You best get off of me, you inconsiderate trampler. 

I’d much rather ride into the warm sunset alone

Then continue my existence as a cold, forgotten stepping stone,

Being in your eyes nothing more than a sentimental error.

No desire of feeling your soiled foot on my preciously brilliant head.

My glorious ethereal wings spread, flying very free instead.

Want to be someone’s evermore, not the stone that came before.

Nantli

Nantli

His mother I will always, always be,

This adult man I see before me.

But my role is changing, 

His escape he is staging.

Off to learn from the world.

His hand I can no longer hold.

Now, who will I be?

Now that I won’t have to be “mommy”,

Until now my most important role.

What will fill this emptiness, this hole?

My purpose must be redefined

As I leave that role behind.

Waves

Waves

Days come and go like the waves on the beach
The relentless crash going in and out
Next just like the last
Never the same shape but still only sea water.

Days pass by just as fast
Gone before I can even capture their beauty
One followed by the other
Next just like the last.

When will the day come when those relentless waves
Wash something new to my shore.
Something that won’t go as quickly as it came
Like the sand crabs I uselessly try to hold on to.

Sometimes I stand on that shore looking at the horizon
And I wonder what it would be like to just lose my self
To get lost in that blanket of blue
But then I remember my place is on the shore.

So I stand there and look longingly, waiting,
Waiting for the sea to make up its mind
For it’s current to change and bring to me,
Bring to me what shall be mine alone.

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Accepting

Accepting

Music blasting,
My feet dancing,
I am glancing
At you removing
Your shirt and singing.
See the writing,
Heart is breaking
"Not for me" I am thinking.
Then you come walking
Towards me, singing.
At my eyes you are looking.
At your chest you are pointing.
In my chest heart is pounding.
Inside I am screaming
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" but outside only smiling,
While my heart is slowly melting
At the words I am reading
...

My Gift, My Curse

My Gift, My Curse

Like a sponge I take it all in

My gift, my curse to FEEL

The energy the world projects.

The pain that you lived

With all the heartbreak.

The cries of childless 

Mothers mourning deaths.

The bleeding planet

Dying a slow painful death.

Take it in and carry it, 

Always there, always feeling.

But the desire, the passion

I take that in too,

But how do I tell whether 

It was meant for me 

Or if it was just energy that I stole.

Did I unwittingly take love 

Not meant for me?

If I knew how, I’d hand it all back.